Make new friends at church and show those sissy boys that you have a pair. 
 
Perhaps, just perhaps the most cool motorcycle gremlin bell ever. All brass - all night long.
 
Both the Bell Hanger and Sack are made of solid brass.   Although the unit does not ding as a regular bell does the schrotul vibrations to in fact frighten away the road goblins with the same effect.  You shall ride both safe and reasonably well endowed.